An Orientalist is Born

I'm on the street outside my house and suddenly my heart lurches and I break out into a cold sweat. I've left the front door keys inside. And I'm butt naked. Ever happened to you? No? Me neither. Just in my dreams. My most senile moment-so far-is taking the rubbish to the end of my street and then realising I'm still in

These anxiety dreams don't happen too often. I'm generally laid back (some unkind friends would say more like comatose), but I do have

my anxiety list. Preparations for exhibitions is high up on the list because for all the buzz it generates, it basically boils down to engaging in a very public act of self-exposure. Up there on the walls are not just paintings; they're snapshots of my innermost thoughts and feelings.

But that's not top of my anxiety list. That's reserved for visits to art gallery proprietors to show my portfolio. I'm way better at it now, having had several decades experience tucked under my belt. And since moving to Malta I've had the benefit of my very own career manager (stroke human shield) who also happens to be my partner. But the first time I ever ventured forth on my own, it was nerve-wracking. However, I was soon to discover that with that first tentative and uncertain step into an art gallery in Manama, Bahrain, I had struck gold.

The gallery was stylish and professional, as was the diminutive woman sitting at an

I started to open my portfolio, avoiding direct eye contact as I asked the gallery owner if she'd take a look at my work with a view to being my agent. And quietly stated that my name was Hidaya Lawrence. She stood back suddenly, exclaiming "YOU are Hidaya?" Uh yes,last time I checked. "I've been trying to locate you for ages!" And so began a wonderful relationship that would, under the tireless direction of this little Lebanese powerhouse, thrust my fledgling art career from zero to sixty virtually overnight. Randa Astley Cooper, wherever you are, I am eternally grateful!

Given the Islamic prohibition of figurative representation, I didnt return to drawing faces immediately. For 13 years I had found an inner peace and stability in the structured life I had built for myself within the muslim community and my paintings

My obsession with the paintings of the Orientalists informed my art for most of my career in the Arabian Gulf, but slowly and surely, the call of my first love began to rattle its bars. I'd supressed, ignored, resisted that voice for decades but inevitably I had to listen to it, and respond. I began drawing faces again. Ths was one of the first to emerge. The title I gave it says it all.

You can view some more of my Orientalist themed art HERE

"What I dream of is an art of balance, of purity and serenity devoid of troubling or depressing subject matter – a soothing, calming influence on the mind, rather like a good armchair which provides relaxation from physical fatigue." Henri Matisse